Advice is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? We’re just so good at giving it.

Let’s say you have a close friend with a problem or a difficult choice to make. Let’s also say that this friend talks to you about it and asks you what you think. You are, after all, not just a friend but a successful woman who’s doing well in life.

Chances are that you’ll be only too happy to help. You might need to give the problem some thought, but you almost certainly will go back to your friend with an idea of what you would do in their position. Some good advice.

As helpful humans, we’re happy to do this. In fact, we’re very happy to do it. We’re hard-wired to want to help others, especially our friends. The issue comes when the person with the problem isn’t a friend – it’s ourselves.

We might go to a friend for advice, listening attentively as they come up with a solution and nodding in agreement, only to go home and completely ignore the solution our friend has come up with.

Maybe it’s because you’re a world-class procrastinator, seeing something that you know you should do and then… not doing it.

Maybe it’s because deep down, you simply don’t like to listen to anyone else or believe that change is possible for you.

But maybe (and I’m betting that this is much more likely) it’s because changing something in our lives – leaving a job to follow your heart rather than your head, ending a challenging relationship, addressing long-term health issues – is much harder.

The Challenge of Putting Yourself First

Saying “No” to someone or something you’ve always done in order to say “Yes” to yourself requires new thoughts, a non-negotiable self-belief, inner confidence, followed through with aligned action. Whether that’s going for that promotion, changing companies after years of service, taking more holidays, or raising our prices – it often involves prioritising ourselves and our own needs first rather than those of others, then following it through until you achieve the desired outcome.

And although there are plenty of self-centered people around, I’m guessing that you’re not one of them. And that you don’t like putting yourself first very much. You don’t like “letting other people down.” When you’ve already made promises and commitments, you believe you have to stick to them to the end.

So you lock yourself into “doing mode,” spending every waking hour thinking about your to-do list, your clients, or how you can do your job better than you did it yesterday.

You’re ambitious and you want to climb the ladder at work, or you know that eventually when your business’s annual turnover reaches six or even seven figures then you’ll be happier than you are at the moment and that you’ll be able to slow down and start actually enjoying your life.

Then perhaps you’ll start feeling healthier because you’ll be able to eat better, get more rest, go away more often, and take the odd day off.

And perhaps that’s when you’ll start feeling that all the hard work has been worth it, that there’s actually been a purpose to all this. Because you sure as eggs is eggs don’t feel like there’s any purpose to it at the moment.

That’s how it works, right? We put our job or our clients first and then ourselves much later down the line.

But here’s the thing. If you don’t start putting yourself first now then eventually you will let EVERYONE down. And that includes yourself.

The Two-Fold Problem with “Doing Mode”

The problem with being in “doing mode” all the time is two-fold.

Firstly, everybody needs to have meaning and purpose in their lives, to feel joy and contentment, and to have things to enjoy and look forward to. Ultimately, we all want to feel greater peace, joy, love, and fulfillment in our lives. Without any of that, life is one long slog.

Secondly, with no or little rest, our bodies eventually give up the ghost and demand a break. I’ll bet many of you know at least one person who’s experienced burnout or who works way too hard and then becomes ill at holiday time.

If you work for yourself, you don’t have set holiday times, so the chances are that your body will just demand its break when you least expect (or want) it to.

I’m sure you’ll agree that we all want to be heard, understood, and valued. It’s an innate desire, but really it starts with us doing this, and doing this consistently everyday for ourselves.

The Path to Self-Respect

We create the boundaries. We change the inner conversation. Our bodies follow – hence the mind-body connection. Once we learn to respect ourselves, others will follow. It’s inevitable. 

The path to self respect is an inside job. Everything starts from within!

Can you see what this is leading to?

So, are you beginning to feel like it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities a little, to prevent you from having big regrets in the long run?

Maybe you recognize yourself in this article. Maybe you’re someone whom friends come to for advice, whom people look up to because you seem to be doing so well and whom clients love because you’re always available and nothing is too much bother for.

Someone who knows in their heart that something needs to change, but who doesn’t quite know what.

Taking the First Step

I can help. I’d love to help.

I invite you to start by reading my brand new FREE e-book, “7 Tips to Optimize Your Life.”

This e-book provides practical advice and actionable steps to help you start putting yourself first, optimize your life, and achieve a healthier balance between your personal and professional commitments.

And I don’t mean drinking more water, moving a little more, or walking out in nature. You’ve heard that all before.

The journey to self-care and prioritizing your needs is not just about making radical changes overnight. It’s about taking small, consistent steps towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. By acknowledging your needs and taking proactive measures to meet them, you’ll find that you have more energy, enthusiasm, and capacity to help others – and most importantly, to help yourself.

If not now, then when? Your well-being is too important to be perpetually postponed. Take the first step today and discover the transformative power of putting yourself first.

Make a Declaration

Next, make a declaration to yourself. Commit to creating an unshakeable bond between what you desire for your future life and yourself right now. Only then can you begin to close the gap.

It’s time to sign on the dotted line.

Make that commitment TO YOU today!

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” ― Pablo Picasso

I love this quote, let’s start with the end goal in mind. I love a bit of reverse engineering!

Are you a do-er, maintainer or a completer” of your heart’s desires or do you drop your goals and dreams along the way?

Reflect with Three Questions

If you’re struggling with answering that then I invite you to spend a little time in introspection by contemplating on these three questions:

• What are you not allowing yourself to BE that you’re meant to be?
• What are you not allowing yourself to DO that you’re meant to do?
• What are you not allowing yourself to HAVE that you’re meant to have in this lifetime?

Beyond a “How-To” Guide

If you need more than a “how-to” guide, and you’re ready to commit to your potential and take more control of your life, then the great news is that next month I’m starting “Optimise Your Life – Discover Your True Self.” It’s my most life-transforming 3-month group online program where we’ll share, learn, and evolve together exponentially beyond your wildest dreams. You’ll break down the old paradigms that don’t serve you and create a new narrative – one that leads to your epic inner growth and transformation and creates ripples in your outer world too.  You can read more about it here.